Medical decisions for another person are difficult enough, but when you have to make those decisions during a crisis, it can be even more difficulty. As a healthcare decision maker for a loved one, it is possible you could be called upon to make a medical decision on very short notice.
When this happens, the first reaction is often fear which can lead to medical decisions that may not be thought through completely. Keep in mind that you do not have to make these medical decisions alone as bringing in a friend or family member to talk you through it is highly recommended.
According to Viki Kind, an ethicist and author of The Caregiver’s Path to Compassionate Decision Making, suggests a few steps that can clear your thoughts and make for better medical decision making.
“Before a crisis even happens, like maybe even today, create a reminder list to draw upon before you rush out the door,” Kind said. “Do you have a child or a pet that will need to be cared for while you are gone? Do you need to call your employer? Do you have all your necessary medications, food and water? Is there a sweater or a book handy? Be sure to grab paper and pen to take notes, a phone charger and your wallet.”
Take a deep breath, pray, call a friend or family member and focus on the positive. Remind yourself to stay clear-headed and do what you have to do with a level mind. One thing you may want to do is determine how quickly you need to make the medical decision. While on the phone with the hospital or long-term care facility, clarify what “now” means. Although it may seem like “now” means instantly, it may actually mean you can wait until later in the day or even the next day.
“Ask about all the options, including an option to wait and see before making a medical decision,” Kind said. “Ask about the benefits of making the decision now vs. taking a wait and see view as well as the risks for both. Be sure to ask about long-term consequences as well.”
Ask the medical staff to give you some time to think about the medical decision you have to make. Review your notes, consider the options keeping what your loved one would want in mind. Talk it through with a friend or family member. If the medical decision is extremely complicated, create a list of pros and cons for each option before making a final decision.
“Once the crisis is over, make sure you see out support from others. Difficult medical decisions can take a toll on the person who has to make them. Whether it is a friend, family member, colleague or mental health professional, find someone who can help you process what happened and your feelings.
Delaware Hospice is available to help with those difficult medical decisions. They can also work with you before an emergency occurs to make sure you and your loved one have plans in place. Contact Delaware Hospice by calling 302-478-5707 or visit them online.
