One of the most difficult decisions parents can make is who will be the guardian of their minor children should something happen to them. Although everyone hopes the worst will never happen, it is critical to prepare in case it does.
“This can be a very emotional discussion,” Adam Crouse, an estate attorney with Aleman & Associates, said. “Not only does the legal paperwork matter, it is also important to make a decision that is emotionally satisfying as well.”
Crouse pointed out that most parents focus on logistics when choosing guardians. They look at age, location and the financial ability to raise children. Although these are important, it is also critical to think about your child’s needs as they grow, including emotional development, discipline, education and the family culture.
“What you need to ask is whether the person you choose is emotionally stable enough to hanle the stress, grief and major responsibility of raising your children,” Crouse said. “You will want to know how they handle conflict, frustration and child behavior challenges. A guardian should share core beliefs about education, parenting, discipline and lifestyle. You also want someone who has demonstrated responsibility. Your children should also have a safe connection with who you choose.”
Once you have determined who would be good guardians, you can then look at other factors. If the person you are considering lives some distance away, keep in mind this could mean uprooting your child from somewhere they have known their entire life. That could mean new friends, new schools, new neighborhoods. Age is another factor to consider, since some parents look to their parents as guardians. How would an older person manage the teenage years and what happens if they develop health issues?
“Although you may have life insurance and other assets, raising children can put a financial strain on the guardian, so you want to be sure they are prepared should the worst happen,” Crouse said. “Are there other children in the household? If so, how would your child fit in with those children? Would the addition of more children put too much of a strain on the home?”
The best way to determine the answers to these questions, Crouse said, is to talk to those you are considering as guardians and candidly ask those questions. That could help you determine the best place for your children if something happens to you.
“Once you have determined who you want to be the guardian of your child, it is time to put it on paper legally,” Crouse said. “Your will is the best place to note who will be the guardian of your children. It is also recommended that backup guardians be named should something happen to the initial guardians.”
Although everyone plans to live into their child’s adulthood, car accidents, illnesses and other life-circumstances can derail that plan. Planning ahead for your children to be cared for after you are gone is one of the best gifts you can give them. Learn more about guardianships by contacting Crouse at 302-990-8801, by email or by visiting Aleman and Associates online.
